Murder, Mystery, Merriment

Aren't we twisted? We're smiling while our manager lays dead!

Aren’t we twisted? We’re smiling while our manager lays dead!

Over the weekend my friends joined together to celebrate summer and the murder of Bobby Ray, our manager at Wal-Mart who was found stabbed to death in the rafters of the supply room.

DSCN0833DSCN0832We examined clues, made outrageous accusations, dined on a delicious meal, and dressed in our Wal-Mart best while giggling out rhyming lines.

The aging secondary cashier, Carl Crone was having a secret affair with Wilma Beef, the deli manager. Bob Cat was drunkenly operating the forklift and continued to slur in his southern drawl. Paul Pitts (a role stunningly portrayed by your very own author) took out a million dollar life insurance policy on Bobby Ray who she was set to marry. Even newly employed Jose was living in Taylor the pharmacist’s shed!

Intrigue and suspicion plagued us throughout night. Until in a shocking twist of fate, it was revealed that the murderer was Paula Pitts!

I didn’t even suspect myself! It seemed that I had committed the perfect crime if even I was unaware that the murderous sin was conducted by me! Stupidly, when I signed the life insurance policy as Bobby Ray, my handwriting was a dead giveaway as to my future actions.

signatures of paula and bobby ray

Next time, I’ll be the one writing out the murder mystery, and rest assured, I will seek my vengeance on all of the coworkers who contributed to my new life in prison.

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